Cupcake Hair and General Life Update

What's going on in my life? Well, I'm FREEZING at the moment. But that's better than melting under the Great Fiery Orb. In other news, some of you may have noticed (I'm sure you rabidly check this page every day waiting for a scrap of an update) I haven't been posting very much at all! There is a long and short explanation for this...

Short Explanation!
I have been uninspired and busy.

Long Explanation! 
I have been uninspired about blogging and feeling a little distanced from goth in general. I was really excited to go to college because it had a reputation of having a lot of goths lurking about but thus far I've been sadly disappointed. Other than a totally old school goth lady I've befriended in my drawing class who calls herself Raven, the only other goths I've met are a sketchy library help student who is rather greasy and worships at the alter of "Black Metal" but is somehow unable to apply a band name to this genre...(although we did have a nice talk about Emilie Autumn) and another artist in my watercolor class who likes to fill me in about every detail of her relationship including the...er..intimate moments...and shows quite the interest in reminding me that she is "goth, very goth!" These people are nice enough I suppose (trying to save my Karma here) but they certainly aren't the creatures of the night I was hoping to meet (in my mind there is at least one Victorian chap with a cane who likes to read English literature in graveyards and a few punk-tastic-chicks with mohawks to go clubbing with). Growing up in a small town where I was pretty much the ONLY goth, well, there were a few alternative kids in high school but none of them with any interest in the basic roots of the subculture, it's a little disheartening to always be the lone bat.

Random awesome picture!
Check out this girl's deviantart!

Also, people at my school, and on the way there, seem to have strange expectations of me. I've had several instances where overweight older men on the public transport ask for my number after complimenting my "tights" all the while staring at my thighs or cleavage, and a few times where I've been sitting quietly reading and people come up to me, sit down and go "So. I've noticed you're GOTH." Why yes, how keen of you. Would you like to start a conversation? No? You'd rather just sit there staring at me as though I'm meant to transform into a black cat with a poof of purple glitter? So there's that.

And I also recently lost my job because the place I was working shut down. Which is a MAJOR bummer because its October now and I have no money for Halloween goodies! :( I'd also come to like my previous job quite a lot (you can read about my initial concerns in this post) and I'm missing the friends I made there and the surprising amount of appearance tolerance I'd gotten used to. They let me wear my piercing, as much makeup as I wanted, and show my undercut, my manager even told me he expected my hair to be "a different color every week!" and all I had to do was smile at the customers and weigh their frozen yogurt. So most of my spare time these days has been taken up by job applications. But wanna see something that made me laugh until my little rib-cage almost cracked? This question:

This is a screen shot from my phone as I was filling out apps online.
This is an ACTUAL question!! :D

In addition to all that tomfoolery, I've been experiencing some conflict about makeup. I've come to integrate makeup, A LOT of makeup, into my daily definition of goth. It really adds to outfits and amps up the ookie-spookieness factor. I sometimes miss my natural face, but I also don't feel comfortable wearing no makeup, months of scrubbing off blackest black eyeliner have given me some pretty severe dark circles and with my undercut I feel very boy-ish if I'm not wearing at least a little eyeliner. On the one hand, I really like my dramatic makeup. Creating different looks is fun and interesting. But sometimes I feel like I'm doing it because it's what people expect of me, not what I really want.

All of these things combined have lead me to just feel a little...lonely. Which is why I've realized, I need to start blogging again! I love all you guys, seriously you should see me when I get a comment from any of my followers, I practically burst with glee. And if I can't find any gothy types in my hometown well, here everyone is online posting pictures of their drool-worthy outfits and macabre topics of interest. Thanks for having the confidence to be yourselves! You give this dark hearted girl some smiles (with vampire fangs of course). I really enjoy cliches. :D

THIS needs to happen in my life.
Source

Anywho! Enough about me, what about my hair? (Yes, it truly is a separate entity, it has a MIND of its OWN!) Perhaps you read my last post about the new products I was trying and the color results I was aiming for? If not, I'll wait. I'm sure I have some knitting around here to occupy my time...

Okay, up to speed now? Well. The results of last night's several rounds of bleaching and then dye application left me very disappointed. After letting the dye sit for FOUR HOURS, I washed my hair to find I was blonde with slightly pinkish streaks everywhere and two spots of rather brighter pink on my undercut. Not. What. I. Wanted. Altogether, it looked almost orange, and it was a really muddy shade, probably because some of my hair wasn't entirely light enough for a pastel color to go over. And what was with the dye not taking on the short super bleached side of my head? It was a mild disaster, so I reapplied bleach to attempt to go back to blonde. The pink didn't bleach out but it did get lighter, much closer to the shade I intended. While it was wet it was still looking rather stupid, but this morning I saw the dried results and was much happier:

It still has a lot of blonde showing through on the bottom parts of my hair. I'm not sure if this is because the dye (I used Ion Color, their shade "Rose") just didn't take for some reason or because it was my first time dying my hair all by my lonesome (I usually employ the help of my wonderful mother who has bleached and colored my hair so many times by now I should really start tipping her) and I probably didn't apply it as evenly as I could have. For now I'm just combing all my hair over my silly half dyed undercut and working with it. Although I did purchase some Splat hairdye today (I found out they never test on animals or use animal products in their colors!!!) to try using with this tutorial, we'll see how it goes! Hopefully the end result will be something like this:

In addition to just liking pastel pink, my interest in pastel goth is growing, I like the cutesyness of it.
Although from what I've read its not actually "goth" its purely fashion?
Source

So! I know I've said it before but I'm going to try and keep up with the regular posts again. Inspiration has once again struck and I've got some more ideas for posts. October tends to do that to me. :) Thanks for checking back! I hope you're all doing well!

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